Then You Stand
by fallinrain
Summary: Something is wrong with Kelsi, something she never would've imagined. The road won't always be easy, but she won't be alone. Ryelsi, along with a little bit of other couples. Crossover with Touched By An Angel. Rating and genre may change.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, I definitely wouldn't be as broke as I am. ;)**

**A/N: This is one I've wanted to write for a while now, but never found the right fandom for it. Some may have worked, but none ever inspired me enough to start it. Since becoming hooked on Ryelsi (thanks to all the great Ryelsi writers on here) I've decided putting it here could be interesting. I've been debating making this a HSM/Touched By An Angel crossover. On one hand, making it one would add another dimension to the story that I think could really work. On the other hand, given the nature of TbaA I'm really not sure how well tolerated that would be. If it was a crossover, HSM would be the main focus with TbaA being secondary (while being important to the main plot). I would also do my best to keep things as general as possible and try to avoid coming across as preachy. I still haven't decided and any opinions on that issue would be greatly appreciated. This is also going to be a pretty personal story because I actually have what Kelsi is going to be struggling with and will be pulling from my experience with it to add some realism to the story. That said, Kelsi's experience with it is going to be very different. I'm not going to say what that condition is now, but I will tell you that it is NOT cancer. This first part is just an introduction, kind of in drabble form. Reviews would be much appreciated. **

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Prologue

Something was wrong. Kelsi couldn't put her finger on it, but something was definitely wrong. For one thing she had gotten a full eight hours of sleep, but was still completely exhausted when she woke up. Aside from the lingering fatigue, she also had a general feeling of aching throughout her body. She shook her head as she finished getting ready for school. It probably wasn't anything serious, maybe it was something as simple as coming down with the flu. Whatever it was, she was hoping that come tomorrow she'd be back to normal, and when that happened she'd allow herself to feel silly for worrying the day before.

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	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not HSM and not TbaA. Nothing.**

**A/N: Wow, thanks for the response to the prologue everyone! I wasn't exactly sure what to expect with this one, but it seems like things have gotten off to a good start. After reading the reviews and seeing that no one seemed morally opposed to the crossover idea, I've decided that this will be a crossover. Don't like, don't read.**

**Here's some TbaA 101 for those of you who aren't familiar with the show. Basically, TbaA was a show about angels who were sent by God on various assignments to help people. Throughout the show, we saw a lot of angels, but for our purposes I'm only going to tell you about 3 of them: ****Tess, Monica and Andrew. **

**Tess (played by Della Reese) is the supervisor, she usually knows the most about the assignments and helps keeps the other two on track. She kind of takes on a motherly role towards the other two and even has pet names for them, but can have a temper at times. All three of them were very important, but the heart of the show was the Irish angel Monica (played by Roma Downey). Every episode for the most part centered around her. Her speciality was telling the truth, though she could be a little naive at times. Rounding out the trio is Andrew (played by John Dye), who is an angel of death. Yup, his main purpose is to escort people to heaven when they die. That said, that's not all he does. Sometimes he'd just be there to help out with the assignment. There is another angel who may show up, but we'll see. Reviews are always appreciated. :)**

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**Troy and Gabriella were walking down the hallway together, holding hands as usual, when they spotted Ryan watching Kelsi from across the hall. The couple glanced at each other and decided to see what was going on. "Morning Ryan," Gabriella smiled at him as they reached him.

"Hey guys. Does Kelsi seem okay to you?" Ryan asked. Gabriella bit back a smile as Troy glanced over at the petite composer, who was currently leaning against her locker and looking as if she was about to fall asleep.

"A little tired, maybe. She probably didn't get enough sleep last night," Troy decided.

"Yeah, but this seems to be becoming a common thing," Ryan studied their friend more closely.

"Maybe it's just the stress of senior year getting to her. I mean we have colleges to apply to, classes to pass, majors to pick," Troy grimaced at the thought of it all.

"Not to mention her car broke down and she's had to take the bus for the past few days," Gabriella added.

"Kelsi's taking the bus?" Ryan interrupted. She nodded. "Is it safe for her to be doing that? Isn't it dangerous?" Ryan focused his attention back on Kelsi, this time looking a little more worried.

"Only late at night," Troy argued. "It's perfectly safe in the daytime."

"I don't like it," Ryan muttered. Troy looked from Ryan to Kelsi and back again, this time noticing how intently the blond boy was staring at her.

"You know Ryan...if you're worried about it, maybe you should offer to drive her to school and back until her car's fixed," Troy suggested innocently.

"That...that's a good idea. I'll do that," Ryan nodded and started to make his way through the crowded hallway to get to Kelsi, leaving Troy and Gabriella alone

"Nice play, Wildcat," Gabriella grinned at him, and Troy winked in response.

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Kelsi stifled a yawn with her hand and wondered why she was still so tired. It was to the point now that she couldn't remember the last time she didn't feel tired. That and the ever persistent aching throughout her body were enough to have her worrying. She felt a nudge from beside her and turned to look at Martha, who looked slightly concerned.

"Are you feeling okay?" was the question.

"Just a little tired," Kelsi gave her a little smile. "I think I may be coming down with something...maybe."

"Well how do you feel?" Martha asked.

"Tired, obviously. And just generally achy everywhere," Kelsi replied.

"There is a bug going around, I think. Maybe you caught it," Martha offered.

"Probably," Kelsi agreed.

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Unbeknownst to any of the students currently walking through the hallways, they were being watched.

"It's more than a bug isn't it, Tess?" a soft voice with an Irish lilt to it asked.

"Yes, baby, it is. That girl is about to find out something that's going to change her world as she knows it forever." The answer came from a slightly overweight older woman with light brown skin who exuded a motherly vibe.

"And that's why we're both here," the first woman nodded.

"No, Monica, that's why all three of us are here," the one called Tess responded as they were joined by a kind looking blond man who looked to be in his thirties.

"Andrew! What are you doing here?" the one called Monica exclaimed, and the blond man pouted.

"Is that any way to welcome a friend? Aren't you happy to see me, Monica?" he asked, though he had a playful twinkling in his eyes.

"Oh I didn't mean it like that, I just..." Monica started. "Are you here in your official capacity?" The man shrugged.

"All I know is that I'm supposed to help you both with this assignment, but I haven't received my direct orders yet. Tess?"

"You'll both find out soon enough," Tess assured them. "This assignment could be a little tricky. There are a lot of people's futures at stake here and our job is to get them all on the right track."

"A lot of people? I thought we were just here for the wee girl," Monica gestured towards the petite brunette they had been watching, now joined by a blond boy in addition to her other friend.

"We are here for her, baby, but we're also here for the people around her," Tess nodded at the blond boy. "Like him. That boy has all these feelings running around in his head and doesn't know what to do with them. Or take a look at that girl over there," she gestured towards a blonde girl who was dressed mostly in pink. "She takes a lot of pride in herself and has a lot of big dreams for her future." Tess paused.

"But isn't that a good thing, Tess?" Monica asked.

"Yes and no. Having the dreams and wanting to go after them is a good thing, yes. But the problem lies in the lengths she's willing to go in order to achieve those dreams. That girl has no problem using the people around her and has a bad habit of letting her ambition stand in the way of her judgment. She may hurt a lot of people, but as long as she reaches her goal she doesn't care," Tess sighed. "A piece of work, that one. And that's just the beginning. Yes, things are about to get very interesting, and we just better make sure that we do our jobs like we're supposed to. Or else everything could turn into a big old mess."


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. Shocking, isn't it?**

**A/N: I've written a lot of stories in my life, but I think this was the most aggravating and emotionally exhausting chapter to write. Aggravating because originally this chapter was going to be about everyone meeting Tess and Kelsi having increasing symptoms, but for some reason I just had a hard time writing it. I tried several times and never was able to get it a way I liked, so I pretty much changed it. The last chapter took place on a Monday and this one is the Friday of the same week. I left out everyone meeting Tess and instead included Kelsi's thoughts of her so far. On TbaA, the angels like never used their last names so in here all of them will be known by their first names. I wanted to clarify that in case anyone wonders why Kelsi refers to her as Tess. Depending on how observant everyone is, there's something that happens at the end of the chapter that may seem like a mistake. It's not, it was something I did deliberately. I'm really curious to see if anyone figures it out. Nothing major, it's something small. Now, since I felt no reason to delay letting everyone know what was wrong with Kelsi, I decided to have this be the diagnosis chapter. I warn you, this chapter is pretty long. I wanted to get all of this in one chapter and fit in as many details about the condition as I could. There'll be more information given later on, but I wanted to explain it in a nutshell. I don't think I've ever had such anxiety over a chapter in my life, probably because this cut really close for me. Ironically enough, I was a 17 year old senior when I was diagnosed with this, just like Kelsi. So I thought back to that first doctor's appointment and everything I remember feeling. I said before that her experience is going to be different than mine has been, but the things she's feeling in this particular chapter are the same things I remember feeling. This is also a tribute of sorts to the doctor I first saw about this and so I've used her name. Thank you so much for all the reviews. I love reading them and they are, as always, welcome and encouraged. :)**

**But enough rambling...onto the story. **

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Kelsi was sitting next to her mother at the doctor's office, musing over what an odd week it had been. They had gone to homeroom on Monday to find out that Ms. Darbus had flown home to help her mother take care of her father, who had recently fallen ill. The school wasn't sure when, or even if, she'd make it back that year. Her place would be filled by a woman none of them had ever seen, who insisted that she be called Tess, never giving them an actual last name. Luckily for all of the seniors, this Tess apparently had a background in the arts and would be able to help them with their spring musical, which was still months away.

Kelsi wasn't exactly sure what to make of Tess. On one hand, the woman seemed a little strict. Kelsi grinned at the memory of Tess dealing with Sharpay during homeroom that first day. Sharpay had been trying to text message someone, keeping her cell phone under the desk and out of sight. But somehow Tess had not only known what she was doing, she also in no uncertain terms informed Sharpay that she would have absolutely no problem taking her cell phone from her and keeping it for however long she saw fit. Tess definitely didn't come across as someone that should be messed with. On the other hand, there was something about the woman that put Kelsi at ease. She couldn't put her finger on it exactly, but there was a sort of warmth about her in spite of all the seemingly harshness about her.

Kelsi forced herself to snap back to the present. It was now Friday. After seeing an increase in Kelsi's symptoms, her mother had insisted on pulling her out of school early to take her to the family doctor. Kelsi still couldn't figure out what had happened. Sometime over the course of the week, her fatigue remained constant while the amount of pain she was feeling slowly increased. The day before, she had been in her English class and found it hard to take notes because of the pain in her hand. The more she wrote, the more it seemed to hurt. She had set her pen down, studied both her hands, and was surprised to see that they both looked to be incredibly swollen. Yesterday she was again unpleasantly surprised by a sudden increase in pain from the day before. She had both been looking forward to and dreading her doctor appointment. She wanted to find out what was wrong, but at the same time, was afraid to.

Kelsi let out another nervous sigh just as she heard a melody from her cell phone, indicating that she had a text message. She grabbed for it and flipped it open, smiling when she saw that it was from Ryan, saying that he wanted her to call him as soon as her appointment was over. She managed to text back that she would, right before one of the nurses called her name. She looked over at her mother, who gave her an encouraging smile as they stood up to join the nurse. After going through all the routine procedures such as taking blood pressure, the nurse gave them a friendly smile and told them that the doctor would be in soon. As soon as she was out of the room, Kelsi let out yet another nervous sigh.

"It'll be okay, honey." Kelsi looked over at her mom, who was doing her best to sound encouraging. It was clear that both of them were feeling anxious about this visit. They exchanged small smiles and fell into silence until the doctor finally entered the room. Kelsi felt herself relax. She had been seeing this doctor, Dr. Bittker, for most of her life. The woman had always taken excellent care of her patients and Kelsi had faith that she would be able to figure out what was wrong.

"Hi Kelsi, Mrs. Nielsen," the doctor shook both of their hands and smiled at them. "What brings you in today, Kelsi?"

"Well..." Kelsi started. This was the part she always hated the most. "I've been really tired lately and feeling kind of...well...achy everywhere."

"Yesterday she noticed that her hands seemed pretty swollen," her mother cut in. "They still seem swollen today."

The doctor frowned slightly. "Well let's take a look." Kelsi sat in silence as the doctor began her examination, spending a lot of time looking at her hands. "How long have you been having symptoms?"

"For a few weeks now..." Kelsi said.

"Do you notice any change in them throughout the day? Do they get any better or worse as the day goes on?" Kelsi considered the question.

"The pain seems to be the worst in the morning," she nodded. "And I think it gets a little better later on." The doctor nodded as if this had been the answer she had been expecting.

"I'm going to write you a referral for a rheumatologist," the doctor decided. Kelsi blinked at her.

"A what?"

"A rheumatologist is a doctor who specializes in rheumatic diseases like lupus or arthritis," the doctor said.

"What does Kelsi need to see one for?" Mrs. Nielsen asked.

"Because I believe that Kelsi has a type of arthritis. Rheumatoid arthritis to be exact," was the shocking answer.

"Arthritis? Dr. Bittker, she's seventeen years old!" Kelsi's mother exclaimed, and the doctor smiled sadly.

"Yes, I know," Dr. Bittker paused for a brief moment. "The truth, Mrs. Nielsen, is that anyone of any age can get arthritis, not just the elderly which is a common misconception. Even children much younger than Kelsi."

"What...what makes you think I have it?" Kelsi managed to ask. It had never occurred to her that the cause of all her problems could possibly be arthritis.

"A lot of the classic symptoms. Fatigue, general feeling of being unwell, widespread pain, swelling. Remember when I asked how the symptoms change through the day?" Kelsi nodded. "With rheumatoid arthritis, the pain is usually the worst in the mornings and slowly gets better throughout the day. It's called morning stiffness, and the longer it lasts, the more active the disease is."

"So...we take Kelsi to see a rheumatologist...then what?" Kelsi's mother asked.

"Then they will perform a more thorough examination and then start treatment. If it is rheumatoid arthritis, or RA for short, then Kelsi will be put on a few meds and will start seeing her rheumatologist every month or so for check ups," the doctor explained.

"What exactly is rheumatoid arthritis?" Kelsi spoke up, still confused about the entire thing. "If that's what's wrong...what's it doing to me? What's going on?"

"RA is a complicated disease and no one's really sure what causes it. It's a chronic autoimmune disease, which means that the immune system more or less starts attacking itself. You see, every joint in the body is surrounded by a membrane that is filled with a fluid that protects the bones, so that when you move, they don't rub directly against with each other," Dr. Bittker began. "With RA, the immune system stops recognizing that fluid as being a part of itself and so it attacks it like it would an infection. The fluid, in turn, releases a type of protein that ends up leading to widespread inflammation," the doctor began. "It's considered a systematic disease that can possibly attack the organs as well."

"That sounds serious," Mrs. Nielsen managed.

"It is, or rather, it can be without the proper treatment. Which is why I want you to take Kelsi to see a rheumatologist to find out if that's what is going on," Dr. Bittker said. "I know this is a lot to take in, but the good news about it is that if you catch it early and get on the proper medicines, it is possible to live a pretty normal lifestyle. The rheumatologist I'm going to refer you to is part of one of most respected rheumatology groups in the state. He'll take good care of you."

The doctor kept talking, but Kelsi tuned her out. The appointment wrapped up with the doctor explaining more about the condition and Mrs. Nielsen getting all the information needed to call the rheumatologist, but Kelsi stayed silent. She wasn't sure what she was feeling about it all. There was shock and disbelief mixed in with fear. Above all else was the sense of numbness. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. As the doctor and her mother kept talking, Kelsi started feeling as if her world was starting to cave in on her and she was scared to speak. Because if she did, she was worried she would be buried under the weight of all the emotions she didn't want to deal with.

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As soon as Kelsi and her mother made it to their house, Kelsi headed upstairs to her bedroom to be alone for a while. Her mother watched, helplessly, as Kelsi disappeared up the steps and down the hall. Her daughter's silence was worrying her almost as much as the diagnosis.

"It must be so hard to see your child in pain," Monica said. She and Tess were standing, unseen to any human, in the living room watching Mrs. Nielsen as she left the living room and headed into the kitchen.

"It is, baby. She wants so badly to be there for her daughter, but doesn't know how to be. Especially since Kelsi isn't talking," Tess sighed.

"And why isn't she talking, Tess? I know she must be in a bit of shock at the moment, but is it good for her to keep it bottled up?" Monica asked.

"She just found out, Monica. She needs this time alone to reflect on what's going on with her," Tess started.

"So the doctor was right then? With her diagnosis?"

"Kelsi still needs to see the rheumatologist, but yes, the doctor was right. This is going to be a hard diagnosis for her. One that will be difficult to accept. She's going to need the support of her family and friends," Tess said.

"Well that shouldn't be a problem, should it Tess? They all seem close," Monica smiled at what she had observed that week even though she had yet to actually meet any of them.

"They are. They all care about Kelsi and will do their best to help her. But that doesn't mean it won't be a problem."

"What do you mean?" Monica wanted to know.

"People can be very complicated, angel girl. Kelsi is about to go on an emotional roller coaster, one that may leave her wondering if she can count on them to be there for her. She'll struggle with feeling alone, even though that's the last thing she is," Tess answered.

"So then is part of our job to make sure she does not feel all alone?" Tess smiled.

"It's a little more involved than that, but yes. We can start working on that right now." Tess pointed Monica towards Kelsi's backpack. A moment later Mrs. Nielsen returned and was startled by the music coming out of Kelsi's cell phone, which was, by now, resting on the living room table.

"That's odd, I don't remember Kelsi turning this back on after the appointment," she thought out loud, remembering how Kelsi had shut off her cell phone in the exam room, before the doctor came in. She shook her head and then debated whether or not she should answer it. She tried to respect Kelsi's privacy as much as she could, but maybe this one time it wouldn't hurt to see who was calling. She picked up the phone and smiled slightly at the name flashing on the screen. That was all the encouragement she needed. She answered. "Hello?...yes, this is Mrs. Nielsen…we just got home a couple of minutes ago…she's in her room…I think she would love to see a friend right now…okay…see you soon, Ryan."


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing.**

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone whose reviewed so far! You all rock! There's no angels in this chapter, as they weren't needed here. They'll be back in the next chapter though. I wanted to lighten things up a bit in this chapter though there's still some "sad" stuff in here too. It's kind of half and half. We have Ryan talking to Kelsi's mom and then offering Kelsi some comfort. We have the Wildcats hanging out and Troy nearly getting decapitated. And we have Kelsi wondering about some strange feelings she's having for Ryan. The start of a crush, perhaps? On a sidenote, were Sharpay and Ryan's parents ever given first names in the movies or no? Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Sending everyone who reviews virtual candy of your choosing. ;)**

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If Ryan had been worried before, it was nothing compared to the worry he felt as he pulled into the Nielsen's driveway. He had not expected Kelsi's mother to pick up when he had called, and something about the woman's tone suggested that the doctor did indeed think something was wrong with Kelsi. He just hoped it wasn't the one thing he feared it may be. He got out of his car and made his way up to the front door, knocking a couple of times. The door opened to reveal Mrs. Nielsen on the phone, in what seemed to be like an aggravating conversation. She managed to smile at Ryan and motioned for him to come inside. He stepped in the house and gently closed the door, unsure if he should just head up to Kelsi's room. But then it occurred to him that he hadn't been to Kelsi's house before, and didn't know where her room was.

At that moment Mrs. Nielsen put her hand over the mouthpiece. "You can take a seat in the kitchen, Ryan. I want to talk to you before you go up and see Kelsi," she whispered. She pointed towards the kitchen and he nodded, heading towards it. She followed him as he took a seat at the kitchen table. "Yes, I'm still here...two months? That's the earliest opening?...yes, I realize that, but my daughter is in terrible pain now and two months seems like an awfully long time...yes, I would like to go on a waiting list if there's any cancellations...yes...okay, thank you for your time." Mrs. Nielsen sighed as she hung up the phone.

"Is everything okay, Mrs. Nielsen?" Ryan asked.

"I just love dealing with the medical community sometimes. I was trying to get Kelsi an appointment with...with a specialist and there's a wait," she shook her head. "But that's not the point at the moment. I wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Is Kelsi okay?" Mrs. Nielsen smiled at the concern in his voice. "How'd the appointment go? Did they find anything?" He gave her a sheepish smile as he realized he should probably stop asking questions and give her a chance to answer some.

"The appointment...well, yes, they did find something. Or rather, the doctor was pretty certain she knew what the problem was. She wants to send Kelsi to a specialist for an actual diagnosis."

"A specialist?" Ryan had felt his stomach sinking the first time she had used that word. "That sounds serious. They don't think it's..." he trailed off and she seemed to realize what he was thinking.

"Oh no, it's not cancer," she gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry; I should've said that first." Ryan let out a relieved sigh. "Though it could still be serious...I don't know if it's my place to tell you, actually. I may leave that up to Kelsi, if that's okay." The woman seemed unsure of herself, so Ryan nodded. "I just...she hasn't said anything since we left the doctor's office. Actually, not since the end of the appointment. We got home and she just went right up to her room, where she's remained. I don't know what's going through her head right now." Ryan frowned slightly.

"Maybe I can help," he offered. Mrs. Nielsen smiled at him again.

"That's what I'm hoping for. Right now, I think my daughter needs someone to talk to. If she can't talk to me, than I hope she can talk to her friends. Just so it doesn't stay bottled up."

"Well, Mrs. Nielsen, I consider Kelsi to be one of my best friends and I promise you that I'll be here for her, no matter what's wrong with her."

"I appreciate that, Ryan. Thank you. That's what I assumed but I wanted to make sure. You can go on up and talk to her now. Her room is the second door on the left," she instructed. He nodded and headed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Kelsi's room. He knocked lightly on her door.

"Kelsi? It's Ryan," he called. There was a pause and he wondered if she was going to answer.

"Come in," came the response. He opened the door to find Kelsi sitting down on her bed, leaning against her headboard and hugging her knees to her chest.

"Kelsi?" he asked. She looked over at him and patted the spot on the bed next to her. He made his way over and sat down on the bed beside her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure," was the somewhat unsettling answer.

He decided he may as well get directly to the point. "What happened at the doctor's office?"

"The doctor came in and did an examination. Asked a lot of questions and all that," she turned to look at him. "She wants me to see a rheumatologist."

"What for?"

"She seems to think I have rheumatoid arthritis. Apparently I have all the classic symptoms," Kelsi answered.

"Arthritis? Really?" he asked. She sighed.

"Yes, Ryan. I'm seventeen years old and my doctor thinks I have arthritis," Kelsi responded, sounding a little testy. She sighed. "Sorry...I just don't know what to think about it."

"It's okay..." he trailed off for a moment. "How many joints does she think are affected?" Kelsi blinked, a little surprised that that was his next question.

"Most of them, I think."

"So that explains the pain. But what about the fatigue?"

"That's part of it. If it's rheumatoid arthritis, it means my immune system is involved. It kind of sounded like there's a war going on inside of my body. I'm not sure I understand it all, but it seems like it could possibly affect my organs too." She looked away from him and when she spoke again, her voice sounded a little teary. "Look at my hands, Ryan," she held them up for him to see and he winced slightly at how swollen they looked. "Look at them! They're all puffy and gross. What does this mean for my piano playing? What if it keeps getting worse and I can't play the piano anymore?" she sniffed lightly. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I do," he said softly. "At least I know the first two things you're going to do."

"What?" she turned back to look at him and he smiled.

"Come over to my house tonight to watch movies, hang out, and have some pizza. It's Friday and I don't think anyone has any plans. We can call everyone up and have them come over," he shrugged. "It won't fix anything, but it may help you take your mind off of it for a while."

"I like that idea," she gave him a small smile. "What's the second thing?"

"This." He put his arm around her and pulled her into a sideways hug, bringing his other arm around her and holding her gently. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm a little scared," she admitted.

"I know." He gave her a gentle squeeze. "But you're not alone. I promise," he rested his head on top of hers and the two of them stayed that way for a while.

"Ryan?"

"Yes?"

"Can you not say anything to anyone about this?" she asked. "I don't really want anyone knowing anything just yet. At least not until I get an official diagnosis."

"Okay," he agreed. "We should probably start calling everyone."

"Good idea." He gave her another gentle squeeze and then eased away, pulling out his cell phone. Kelsi felt a wave of disappointment as he pulled away, though she wasn't exactly sure why. She supposed it had something to do with how secure she had felt in his arms, though she quickly dismissed that thought. She had enough things to worry about.

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A couple of hours later, Kelsi found herself at the Evans household surrounded by all of her friends. They were waiting for the pizza to arrive and the guys were having some sort of pool tournament in the Evans game room while they waited. Kelsi shook her head. The Evans were the only family she knew who actually had a game room with a pool table, a foosball table, an air hockey table and even a couple of pinball machines. The advantages of having money, Kelsi supposed. She let out a giggle as Chad somehow managed to send the eight ball flying off of the table, nearly hitting Troy in the process.

"Oh now that was really smooth, honey," Taylor was laughing too.

"Yeah, nice technique there Chad," Troy nodded. "What better way to win a game of pool than to try to decapitate your opponent?" Chad chuckled, in spite of himself.

"Let's see how well you do then, Bolton. It's your turn," Chad said. Troy nodded and positioned himself to take his shot. "Four ball in the left corner pocket," he called.

"Oh now there is no way you're going to make that shot," Chad shook his head. Troy merely grinned as he took his shot and laughed at the look on Chad's face when the four ball went into the left corner pocket, just as predicted.

"Go Troy!" both Taylor and Gabriella cheered. Chad shot a look at Taylor.

"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side!" he protested.

"I call it like I see it, sorry," she shrugged innocently. "I'd rather cheer for the people who aren't actively trying to kill anyone."

"Or the ones who can, you know, actually play," Zeke supplied.

"Thanks man," Chad said sarcastically.

"I try," Zeke grinned. Across the room, Martha was currently winning in her foosball game against Jason.

"One more point and you lose!" she declared happily.

"It's not over yet," Jason countered, about a second before Martha scored her final point.

"It is now," she said gleefully.

"Nicely played," he managed, slightly stunned. Martha looked around the room at everyone.

"Anyone else want to play?" she asked the room at large. "Kelsi? You haven't played anything yet," she added. Kelsi glanced briefly at her hands and shrugged. They were still hurting, as was the rest of her body, but she didn't want anyone else to know it. Surely a game of foosball wouldn't hurt anything.

"Sure, why not," she decided. She made her way over to Martha and the foosball table. "You're probably going to win though, seeing as I've never played."

"It's okay Kelsi," Martha smiled at her. "You can't be as bad as Jason here."

"Hey!" he protested. Martha and Kelsi both laughed at him. Kelsi moved to take his place and as they played the game, she decided that this night with her friends was exactly what she needed.

"Pizza's here!" Ryan announced a few minutes later. The group moved to the large family room to eat their pizza and watch the first movie.

"This was a good idea, Ryan," Gabriella smiled across the room at him.

"Definitely," Taylor agreed. "Senior year is already pretty stressful. It's nice to take some time and just relax and have fun."

"Yeah. It helps take some of the focus off all the stuff we're dealing with," Ryan nodded, nudging Kelsi with his elbow. She smiled at him in response and Taylor and Gabriella looked at each other. Kelsi looked back to find Gabriella smiling at her.

"What?" Kelsi asked.

"Oh nothing," Gabriella chuckled and then shared a look with Troy, who seemed to stifle a chuckle of his own.

"Hey, didn't you see your doctor today?" Martha piped up, glancing at Kelsi.

"Um yeah..." Kelsi started. "They need to run some more tests." Martha looked like she was about to ask a follow up question, but Sharpay unknowingly came to Kelsi's aid.

"What movie should we watch first?" Sharpay asked, completely oblivious to the conversation going about the doctor's appointment. Ryan cut in with a quick suggestion before the talk could go back to the previous topic and Kelsi was suddenly grateful for both of the Evans twins, though she wouldn't tell Sharpay that. She did, however, give Ryan another smile in thanks and tried to ignore the strange fluttering in her stomach when he winked in response.

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Kelsi felt herself slowly start to doze off. She had managed to ignore her fatigue as long as she could, as well as try to hide the pain from her friends, but she sensed that she was losing the battle. She was currently sitting in the middle of one of the huge and comfortable couches in the Evans family room, sandwiched between Chad and Ryan, though there was plenty of room for all of them. Including Taylor, who was cuddled up on the other side of Chad. They were starting their second movie of the evening, and the general consensus seemed to be that everyone was going to end up spending the night at the Evans house. Kelsi leaned back against the soft couch cushions and decided it wouldn't hurt to close her eyes for a few seconds.

A few minutes later, Chad happened to glance over at Kelsi, who by now was facing in his direction, sound asleep. "I think Kelsi's out," he whispered to Taylor, who peered around him and smiled. Ryan had gotten up to talk to his father about something and as he rejoined the group, Chad gestured to Kelsi. Ryan smiled slightly and took the blanket that was lying on the back of the couch and gently draped it over her before sitting back down. To his surprise, Kelsi turned in her sleep and snuggled up to him. Taylor, who was watching the scene, stifled a chuckle at the momentary look of panic on Ryan's face as he tried to figure out what to do. He finally managed to ease his arm around her and started to stroke her hair absently, placing an impulsive kiss on the top of her head. Chad, having noted the kiss, turned to Taylor and grinned.

"Are they..." he whispered. Taylor shook her head.

"Not officially," she whispered back. '_At least not yet..._' she thought to herself.


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N:** **Thanks so much to everyone whose reviewed! I love getting them, especially for this story. I'm trying to respond to every review, though it's possible I've accidently missed a few. This was actually going to be a huge monster of a chapter, but I ended up breaking it into two separate ones since it would've been a bit much otherwise. The next chapter will probably be up sometime today or tomorrow. This chapter opens up with Ryan being a little manipulative - usually Sharpay's job, but in this case Ryan's doing it to help Kelsi. I wasn't sure what the laws are regarding a minor going to a doctor's office without a parent/legal guardian, so you may just have to go with me here. I thought everything worked better if Ryan went with Kelsi to her appointment. I figure that between the Evans name and Kelsi's parents, that they were able to work something out with the office. So humor me. In this chapter we also find out about a bet that's going on. I thought it could be an amusing side story that helps lighten things up, but the problem is I can't decide what the winner will get. So if you have any suggestions, please let me know! This chapter also marks the return of the angels. This is kind of a filler chapter, but I hope you like it. Reviews would be wonderful!**

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"Yes, hello, this is Ryan Evans, son of Vance Evans...that's correct; my father is friends with quite a few of the doctors there...I believe he mentioned something to me about how you guys are trying to remodel your waiting room?...oh, I understand...sure...you know," Ryan grinned as he moved the phone over to his other ear. "I think my dad might be willing to help out, I can only imagine how expensive a complete renovation would be...oddly enough, a friend of mine has just become a new patient of yours...I'm sure you all will take good care of her...unfortunately when her mother called to make an appointment, the first thing open was two months from now...really? That'd be great!...I'll be sure to tell my father...no, thank you...bye." Ryan hung up the phone, completely happy with how well he had played the whole thing off.

"Is it my imagination or is my brother plotting something?" at the sound of Sharpay's voice, Ryan jumped in surprise. He turned to face his sister, who was grinning proudly. "I thought that was my job."

"I wouldn't call it plotting, exactly," he shrugged. "I just...used Dad's influence to help a friend."

"This is a proud day for me," Sharpay gave a dramatic sniff.

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"So are you nervous?" It was a couple of days later and Kelsi's appointment with the rheumatologist had been moved up to that afternoon, thanks to Ryan's influence. He was going to take her to it since neither of her parents could get off of work. Now school was over and Ryan and Kelsi had stopped by their lockers to get everything they needed to take home.

"I don't know," Kelsi shrugged slightly. "It'll be nice to know for sure but...I don't know."

"It'll be okay," he said softly. She gave a slight shake of her head, but before she could say anything, they were joined by Zeke and Troy.

"Hey," Zeke smiled at them. "Is it true you guys are missing the drama club meeting?"

"Yeah, it is. We, uh, have something to do," Ryan said. Troy furrowed his brow.

"But isn't it kind of important for you guys to be there?" Troy asked, confused.

"Well yeah, but we both talked to Tess about it earlier," Ryan said, looking over at Kelsi. Zeke looked back and forth between the two.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"I just have a doctor's appointment," Kelsi smiled at him. "My car is still in the shop and neither of my parents could take me, so Ryan volunteered to."

"Didn't you just see a doctor?" Troy recalled.

"This one is a specialist," Kelsi said. "And we should probably get going." She directed her second comment to Ryan, who nodded.

"You go ahead, I'll be out in a second," he said. "I just want to go over something with the guys. About the show. It won't be long."

"Okay," she agreed. She turned back to Troy and Zeke. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Bye Kelsi," Zeke and Troy chorused. Kelsi gave Ryan another look and then headed down the hallway. The guys watched her go and then Zeke and Troy turned back to Ryan.

"Okay, what's up with the show?" Zeke asked.

"Or rather, what's up with Kelsi?" Troy put in. "Is she okay?"

"Her doctor thought she knew what was wrong and now she's seeing this specialist to make sure," Ryan said, trying to figure out a way to say what he wanted to without giving away what the diagnosis was.

"So something is wrong," Zeke said, looking worried now.

"Yes," Ryan confirmed. "She doesn't want me saying anything until she knows for sure but...I just wanted to give a heads up. I think she's going to need the support from her friends."

"She's got it," Troy replied, without hesitation. Beside him Zeke nodded.

"That's what I figured. I just wanted to make sure," Ryan smiled. "Can you guys pass that on to the others?"

"Sure," Zeke answered.

"Hey, let her know we're all here for her," Troy requested. "No matter what's wrong."

"I'll do that," Ryan nodded. "I better get going so we're not late." They said their goodbyes and then Zeke turned to Troy.

"I hope she's okay," Zeke said. "That girl's practically like a little sister."

"I know," Troy agreed. "Well whatever it is, she'll have all of us. And she and Ryan seem pretty close which should help."

"Yeah, about that. How long do you think it'll take them to get together?" Zeke asked.

"Well Gabriella seems to think it'll be sometime this month, whereas Taylor thinks it'll take a few months. I think it'll be by Christmas and Chad placed his bet on New Years," Troy grinned and then laughed as Zeke's jaw dropped slightly.

"You guys are taking bets on this?"

"You want in?" Troy asked.

"What does the winner get?" Zeke wanted to know.

"We haven't figured that out yet, actually," Troy admitted. "We can't all seem to agree."

"Well I definitely want in," Zeke decided. "I'll take Thanksgiving."

-----------------------

"Here it is," Ryan said, as he finally found the door labeled 315 in the medical building he and Kelsi were currently in. He opened up the door and waited for her to walk through before he followed. He nearly crashed into Kelsi, who had stopped once she got in. "Kelsi?" he asked.

"Look around," she whispered. He scanned the waiting room, noting that it was about halfway full and pretty much everyone looked to be well into their sixties or seventies. "I'm the youngest person here." She shook her head. "I think I want to go home." She turned to leave and he caught her.

"Come on Kelsi, you have to do this. It's important," he said softly.

"I know that, but..." she glanced around the room again.

"Ignore it," he advised. "I know it's a little hard to, but you can do it."

"Ryan?"

"Yes?"

"Will you go back in the exam room with me?" she asked shyly.

"Of course I will." He gently turned her back around. "Come on." They headed for the reception desk.

"Good afternoon," a pleasant looking woman greeted them as they reached it. "Which doctor are you seeing today?"

"Dr. Moretti," Kelsi said softly.

"What's your name?" the woman asked as she typed something into her computer.

"Kelsi Nielsen."

"You're a new patient, correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay, there you are," the woman reached for a clipboard with some papers on it. "Can you sign in, please?" She gestured towards a sign in sheet. Kelsi took the pen and filled in a line on the sign in sheet. The receptionist them handed her the clipboard. "We'll need you to fill these out for us. It's pretty much just your basic medical history along with any and all symptoms you're either experiencing currently or have experienced in the past. There's also a release form and one about insurance. You can have a seat while you fill them out. If you finish before they call you, you can bring them back up to me. If not, you can take it back with you and give it to the nurse," the woman finished her speech and smiled at her.

"Thank you," Kelsi mumbled. She found a seat in the waiting room and sat down in it, Ryan taking the seat to her left. "I hate filling these out."

"Me too," Ryan said. She gave him a nervous smile and started filling out all the forms. Ryan took the time to study all the people around them. Aside from the big age difference between all of them and Kelsi, he noticed that a lot of them had walkers or canes. It wasn't the most encouraging sight in the world and he understood why Kelsi had wanted to leave.

"Done. Finally," he heard Kelsi say a couple of minutes later. She got up and delivered the clipboard to the receptionist and then returned to her seat. She had barely been seated again for a minute before one of the nurses called her name. Kelsi glanced up at a friendly looking woman with long dark auburn colored hair that was pulled back into a ponytail.

"This is it," Ryan murmured beside her and as they both stood, Kelsi instinctively reached for his hand.

"Hello Ms. Nielsen," the nurse greeted them before wrinkling her nose slightly. "That sounds so formal to me. Is it all right if I call you Kelsi?"

"Sure," Kelsi offered the woman a small smile.

"Well then, hello Kelsi," the nurse said cheerfully. "My name's Monica."


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**A/N: I just modeled this doctor's office after the one I go too and used some of my own memories. I don't know if these practices are run the same everywhere or not, but I would assume there's similiar practices throughout the country. I did look up rheumatologists in NM and saw that there were a few of them in the area Ryan and Kelsi live, so at least that's accurate. I just wanted to clarify that. This chapter's a little technical. I wanted to have the RA explained more to Kelsi and talk about the meds she'll be on so everyone can maybe better understand how they affect her later. I ended up doing some research for this one. Probably not the most interesting chapter in the world, but everything in it will be important later. So bear with me. Thanks, as always, to everyone whose reviewed! You all rock! Please keep them coming. :)**

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"Follow me please," she turned and started to head down a hallway and Ryan and Kelsi followed. "I don't believe I caught your name," Monica said as she glanced at Ryan.

"I'm Ryan," he told her.

"Well Ryan, it's very nice to be meeting you as well. It's so nice of you to come here with your friend," Monica gave him a warm smile as they reached a scale. "I know most of the patients don't like this part, but we're supposed to do it all the same." Kelsi nodded and handed her bag to Ryan, who was polite enough not to glance at the scale while she was on it. "All right, good. We'll be in room five," Monica told them. Upon entering the room, Monica instructed Kelsi to sit on the exam table so she could take her blood pressure. "Ah that's very good. Now let me get your pulse."

Ryan watched as Monica started typing some things in the computer that was in the room. "Aren't computers amazing? Before everyone had to write everything down. This keeps it all more organized," Monica paused. "Of course they're not much fun when they don't want to work," she added as she turned back towards Kelsi. "Dr. Moretti is a fine doctor and I promise that you're in good hands," Monica said soothingly, as if she sensed what Kelsi was feeling. "Don't worry, wee one, everything is going to be fine. He'll be in here shortly."

"Thank you," Ryan answered for Kelsi, who was looking a little sick. Monica gave him another smile and then touched Kelsi's shoulder briefly before she left. "Well at least the nurses are nice," Ryan offered. Kelsi nodded.

"Yeah, that's good," she said.

"I wonder how the meeting's going," Ryan said after a moment of silence. They chatted about the play for the next couple of minutes and finally the door to the exam room opened again and in walked the doctor.

"Good afternoon, Miss Nielsen," he held out his hand to her and she took it. "I'm Dr. Moretti."

"Hi," she said softly. The doctor turned towards Ryan.

"And you must be Vance's boy," he said. Ryan stood up and shook the doctor's hand as well.

"That's right, sir. He told me to say hello," Ryan said.

"Well Miss Nielsen, let's see what we have here," Dr. Moretti said. He began his examination in much the same way that Dr. Bittker had. He asked a few questions throughout and made a few notations in her chart as she answered. "You have a very smart doctor, Kelsi," he said finally. Kelsi felt her heart drop.

"You mean...she was right?" she asked.

"I'm pretty certain. I want to run some blood tests, though those are more of a formality. I also want to take some X-rays of your hands and your feet. A lot of times RA shows up in the smaller joints first and we like to do X-rays to check for any signs of joint damage. We have all the facilities here in the office. I'll have the X-ray technician come and get you and then I'll be back." He left the room and Kelsi closed her eyes.

"Joint damage. They want to check for damage," she whispered. Ryan got up from his chair and stood next to the exam table, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"They might not find any," he pointed out in an attempt to make her feel better.

"It's still scary," Kelsi said. She looked at him. "What if there is some?"

"Then they'll find a way to keep it from getting any worse," he said calmly. "Everything will be fine."

"You keep saying that."

"Because I believe it." He gave her a squeeze and she reached up to take hold of the hand he had on her shoulder. They stayed that way until the X-ray technician came for her. Ryan waited, not so patiently, until Kelsi returned to the room. They sat in silence for the most part while they waited for the doctor, who joined them after a few minutes.

"Well?" Kelsi asked nervously. Dr. Moretti gave her a slightly sad smile.

"Your X-rays pretty much confirmed what I was thinking. You've been in pain for a while now, isn't that right?" Kelsi nodded. "The X-rays showed some erosion of the bone in one of your toes. Let me see your hands again," he waited while she lifted her hands up for him. "You have the start of a deformity that we sometimes refer to as swan necks. See how your fingers are all a little hyperextended? They're being pulled past the normal range. Look at the joints right in the middle of your fingers, we tend to call those the PIP joints – the PIP stands for proximal interphalangeal joint. In any event, the tendons in the back of your hands aren't functioning normally and has a result is causing the PIP joints to be hyperextended. Meanwhile the little joints at the top of your fingers by your fingernails, called the distal interphalangeal joints or DIPs, are being flexed. The result causes the finger to be pulled in what looks like a swan's neck - which is where the name came from." Dr. Moretti paused. "Your fingers are all in the early stages of that deformity and there's a couple in particular where it's more noticeable. There are a few different things that can cause this, but by far the most common is RA."

"So I have it," Kelsi said, her voice just above a whisper.

"That combined with all of the other symptoms tells me that yes, you do have it. I should tell you that even though this can be a serious condition that there are new discoveries all the time. This is a pretty exciting time in RA research and we're finally starting to understand more about it. As we learn more, better medicines can be developed in order to help. It's been proven that aggressive treatment early on in the course of the disease can work wonders," the doctor told her.

Kelsi opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. She glanced at Ryan and something in her expression pressed him to step in. "So then I'm assuming you want to get Kelsi on some sort of medicine?" he asked.

"A combination actually," the doctor said. "A lot of times these drugs work better in certain combinations. Unfortunately sometimes it can be a matter of trial and error to find what works for each individual patient."

"What are you thinking of trying first for Kelsi?"

"I'd like to have her get started on a low dose of prednisone, which is a steroid that can help to reduce joint damage that is caused by inflammation," Dr. Moretti began.

"A steroid?" Ryan cut in.

"Not like the ones athletes sometimes use," the doctor clarified. "Prednisone has been around for years and the effects are pretty well documented. Sometimes at high doses, prednisone can lead to significant weight gain and bone damage but I'd keep Kelsi on a very low dose. This will also help the pain."

"What else?" Kelsi flashed Ryan a grateful look, relieved that he was taking control because she couldn't seem to get her voice to start working again.

"Methotrexate. It's actually a form of chemotherapy, but the dose will be a lot lower than what is used to treat cancer. It's a disease modifying anti-rheumatic drug, or DMARD for short, which can help slow down the RA. If she agrees to start that, than I'll want to prescribe folic acid as well which helps to prevent some of the side effects of methotrexate like mouth sores," Dr. Moretti paused. "The methotrexate would be taken once a week, while the folic acid and prednisone would be a pill a day. If the methotrexate isn't well tolerated, we can try adding another type of folic acid to be taken 24 hours after taking the methotrexate which may also help."

"So we're talking about three medicines here. Or four if needed," Ryan verified.

"Well at some point I think I'd like to try Kelsi on a biologic response modifier. They target the immune system directly and can be very powerful when combined with a DMARD." Dr. Moretti turned back to Kelsi. "Ideally, I'd like to start you out on everything else since biologics can be very expensive. You may have to work with your insurance company in regards to that. But assuming we could get you on one, I'd like to have you on the prednisone for as short a time as possible."

Kelsi's head was swimming with all of the information. "What about side effects?" she managed.

"Well there's nothing to worry about with the folic acid," the doctor started. "Prednisone is generally well tolerated, though I've been told that the taste can be pretty awful so you'd want to take it with a lot of water to get it down quickly. It can also cause increased appetite, which I don't think should be a problem at the dose you'll be on. Methotrexate can be a problem for a lot of people. It can cause nausea, headache, fatigue, vomiting, dizziness – it can also be very damaging for the liver, so we like to take blood every six weeks or so to make sure everything is okay there. You're not a drinker are you?"

"No," she answered.

"Good. For several reasons, but drinking while on methotrexate can be dangerous and increase your risk for liver damage. For the biologics, I think I'd want to try you on one called Remicade, which is a two hour infusion, give or take. The good news is that we're able to do that in this building. A lot of times people have to go to hospitals to get them. The main side effects with that are soreness at the injection site and headache. It, along with the methotrexate, takes a toll on the immune system and actually can weaken it further. That makes you more prone to getting infections and it means that if you get an infection, there's always a chance the meds could make it worse. As it is, since the RA is an autoimmune disease it also ends up weakening the immune system so you have to be careful."

"I...I don't..." Kelsi stammered, becoming more overwhelmed all the time.

"I'll write you a prescription for prednisone, methotrexate and folic acid. We can set up an appointment for next week and you can bring your parents and we can talk about all of that further," the doctor softened slightly. "I know this is a lot of information and may be hard to take in. You're probably feeling overwhelmed right now and that's okay. I treat a lot of people and a good amount of them are around your age. My goal is to get you into remission, to get you to a point where the RA isn't active and causing problems. It is possible." They talked for a while longer and then, finally, the appointment was done and Kelsi was sent to the in-house lab to get her blood taken.

"Ah hello again, Kelsi. You're not afraid of needles, are you?" Kelsi looked up to see that Monica was the nurse who would be taking her blood.

"Well...kind of..." Kelsi admitted. "I don't like them but...I can deal with them if I have to," she added, though she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince more.

"Sometimes it helps if you don't look," Monica advised, as she felt along Kelsi's arm for a vein to use.

"How do you think Tess has been doing with Sharpay?" Ryan asked in an attempt to get Kelsi's mind off of the needle. "My sister seems to have a problem with her, and you know how she can get." As the two of them chatted, Monica prepped Kelsi's arm to draw blood.

"You'll feel a slight prick," she warned calmly. Kelsi nodded and took a deep breath. Ryan reached down to take hold of Kelsi's free hand while he kept talking. Monica, meanwhile, glanced upwards for a moment and then eased the needle into Kelsi's arm.

"When are you going to do it?" Kelsi asked, not looking.

"I'm already done," was the response as Monica used gauze to press against where she had inserted the needle. "Put some pressure here for me for a moment," she instructed as she reached for some tape to secure the ball of gauze on Kelsi's arm. "That ought to do it."

"I didn't even feel it," Kelsi said, astonished. Monica smiled at her.

"I do my best," the nurse replied. She looked up at Ryan. "I'd say you did a good job to keep her distracted."

------------------------------------

"How are you doing?" Ryan asked a few minutes later as they were leaving the building. Kelsi shook her head and he looked over to see she was fighting tears.

"I don't know...I don't know why I feel like crying...I don't know what to think...I..." was all she was able to get out before the tears started rolling down her cheeks. Ryan pulled her into his arms.

"It's a lot to take in, Kelsi," he said calmly, gently rubbing her back with one hand in the hopes of being able to soothe her.

"Why did this happen?" she whispered. "Why do I have to deal with all of this?" Ryan couldn't respond to the question because he was struggling with that himself. Instead he focused his attention on comforting his friend and hoped that at some point the right words would come.

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"Aw Tess, look at her. She seems so scared." Tess and Monica stood a few feet away, unseen to everyone around them.

"She is. And unfortunately for her, things are going to get worse before they get better," Tess sighed sadly.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Took a break from roses to finally update this story! I got completely sidetracked with this when I started my Christmas story and then when that was done it seemed like everytime I went to work on this, I couldn't come up with anything. I am so happy to finally have a new chapter of this done! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. This chapter is kind of a filler chapter in a lot of ways. There's a part in this chapter where Kelsi may seem to be a little out of character, just to warn you. My explanation for that is that her disease is getting worse in some ways and the meds are hard to deal with. Above all that she's still trying to get a handle on everything and as a result is under a lot of stress. A lot of people tend to get really emotional when they're stressed, which is what's going on here. Not my favorite chapter so far, but it works. Hope you like it. Reviews always appreciated!**

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"I told you already, Ms. Evans," Tess began. "As talented as you are, this will not be a one-woman show. Everyone has an important part to play."

"But it's senior year and I need to get into Juilliard!" Sharpay complained.

"Well then, I advise you to do your best with whatever role you are given," Tess sighed. "As it is, the auditions are still a couple of months away. So it is in your best interest to take your seat so we can get on with homeroom." Sharpay let out a huff in annoyance and barely resisted stomping her feet on her way to sit down. Behind her, Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Always the drama queen," he muttered. He glanced over at Kelsi, who was sitting next to him, and frowned. It had been a little over a week since the appointment he had taken her to and she had gone back there with her parents. They had agreed on the treatment plan that Dr. Moretti had originally detailed and she had started the folic acid a few days before, and had taken her first dose of the methotrexate that morning.

Unfortunately, it didn't look as if the medicine was agreeing with her too well. Kelsi looked completely miserable – leaning on one hand that was propped up by her elbow and holding onto her stomach with her other one. He waited until Tess wasn't looking and then gently poked Kelsi, mouthing the words 'are you okay?' to her when she looked at him. She made a face and shook her head slightly. Apparently Ryan was not the only one concerned because on Kelsi's other side, Martha was looking at her with a worried expression on her face. Barely a minute passed and then Kelsi raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss. Nielsen?" Tess asked, studying her.

"I don't feel very well...can I be excused to go to the bathroom?" Kelsi asked, sounding almost as pitiful as she looked. Tess frowned slightly.

"Sure, baby," she said, her voice full of sympathy. Kelsi gave her a weak smile and slipped out of her seat and out of the room. Ryan fought the urge to go after her to make sure she was okay, waiting impatiently for homeroom to finish or for Kelsi to make it back to the classroom. Whichever came first. As it happened, homeroom ended at exactly the same time that she made it back.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, as she reached her seat and reached for her bag.

"Just feeling a little sick," Kelsi assured him.

"You're still sick?" Taylor, who had apparently been listening, spoke up. It was her time to frown. "What kind of bug do you have?"

"A long term one," Kelsi muttered.

"What does that mean?" Taylor asked, her face growing more concerned. Kelsi looked at Ryan and he took that as a cue to step in.

"This probably isn't the best time to talk about it," he said slowly. "We all have to get to class."

"Lunch, then?" Taylor pressed. Ryan looked back at Kelsi, signaling that this was her call. If she had been feeling better, Kelsi might have wondered how it seemed like her and Ryan had developed some sort of weird mental telepathy lately. But considering that she still felt like she was going to be sick, she didn't dwell on it.

"I guess," she said finally. She swung her bag onto her shoulder and winced at the weight of it.

"I can take that if you want," Ryan offered, gesturing to the bag. She gave him a weak smile in response.

"Your next class is basically on the complete opposite end of the building that mine's on," she shook her head. "I don't want you to risk being late."

"Then I can take it," Zeke piped up. Apparently all of their friends had been listening to the exchange. "Seeing as we have the same class."

"Well..." Kelsi hesitated.

"She accepts," Ryan cut in before she could reply.

"Honestly Ryan, I'm not an invalid," Kelsi protested.

"No, but that bag of yours probably weighs a ton since you have a bad habit of keeping too much in there," he frowned. "And I know that your shoulders are hurting already." Kelsi sighed and handed her bag over to Zeke, who frowned as well.

"He's right. Geez girl, what do you have in here?" Zeke asked.

"All of my morning classes are about as far away from my locker as possible. It saves time keeping everything in my bag until lunch," Kelsi said, somewhat defensively.

"Well on the plus side," Zeke began, "if anyone ever tries to attack you while you're wearing this, one hit would probably knock 'em out."

"Though you really should do something about that, Kelsi," Taylor shook her head. "It's bad for your back to carry around all that weight at one time."

"Yes, mom," Kelsi said sarcastically, though she smiled as she said it.

---------------------------------

"You really didn't have to carry my tray for me, you know," Kelsi informed Ryan as he led the way to the table most of their friends were already sitting at. "My hands aren't that bad."

"Who says I'm doing it because of your hands?" he countered. "Maybe I just want to do something nice for a friend. Who said chivalry was dead?"

"You never carried my tray before," she muttered.

"An oversight on my part, no doubt," he said, glancing back to wink at her. They reached the table and he nodded for Kelsi to sit down. When she did, he made a show of setting her tray down in front of her. "Your lunch, mademoiselle." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"You're such a dork sometimes. You do know that," she said as he took the seat beside her.

"Okay so it's lunchtime and everyone's here aside from Sharpay, who I don't believe is joining us," Taylor stated, from Kelsi's other side. "Time for you tell us what's going on."

"That's my girl for you," Chad piped up. "Forget the small talk; she just cuts right to the chase."

"I'm just concerned is all," Taylor said, shooting him a look.

"So am I," Martha added. "What's the matter, Kelsi?"

"Well..." Kelsi started, glancing around the table. They all may have been her friends, but it was times like this when her shyness crept back up on her. She could talk to all of them individually and in smaller groups and be fine. But in moments like this, when every single one of them were looking at her, she got nervous. She lowered her gaze to a spot somewhere in the middle of the table. "I saw my regular doctor about a week ago...little over a week actually...and she thought she knew what was wrong with me and sent me to a rheumatologist."

"A rheumatologist?" Taylor looked puzzled. "Don't they deal with rheumatic diseases?"

"Yes," Kelsi confirmed.

"Rheumatic diseases?" Chad raised an eyebrow. "What does rheumatic mean?"

"It's related to rheumatism," Martha answered. "Basically, anything that can cause pain in either the joints or the muscles or both that's not cause by an infection or an injury."

"Yeah, like lupus," Jason spoke up. "Or arthritis or fibromyalgia or Lyme disease." There was a collective pause as everyone looked at him, shock on most of their faces.

"That's right," Martha nodded, smiling at him.

"How in the world did you know that?" Chad asked, stunned. Jason shrugged.

"My aunt has lupus...we've talked about it a couple of times," Jason answered, noticing that everyone was still staring at him. He bristled slightly. "Yeah, that's right. I know some things," he said with a huff. Martha reached over and patted his arm in a show of comfort.

"In any event," Taylor said, her gaze flickering from Kelsi to Jason and back again. "Why'd your doctor want you to see a rheumatologist?"

"Because she thought I had arthritis," Kelsi answered quietly.

"Oh that's ridiculous." Chad waved his hand in the air. "The doctor doesn't know what she's talking about. Arthritis is an old person's disease." It was Kelsi's turn to bristle.

"Actually, Chad, you're wrong. It is not an old person's disease, not that you'd know that from all the attention it gets. It just so happens that anyone of any age can get arthritis and the doctor did in fact know what she was talking about," Kelsi said, glaring at him. She knew it wasn't Chad's fault that he was misinformed, but she couldn't help herself. She had been a jumble of emotions since her diagnosis and had been trying to put off dealing with any of them. But now she found herself being consumed with an anger that surprised her. "Because, even though I am clearly not an old person, I actually do have arthritis."

"But if it's just arthritis, why are you so tired all the time?" Chad asked, slightly taken back by the tone of her voice.

"Just arthritis," Kelsi repeated. "Just arthritis? Yeah, I guess it's easy to say that when you've never dealt with it. I might have said the same thing before too, but you know, it's a whole other game when you're actually dealing with it. Waking up every day in pain? Not just in some joints, but most of them? And, for your information, contrary to what the commercials tell you, the pain is not minor! It's horrible! There are days I can barely write in class because my hands hurt so much. As far as the fatigue, well guess what? That's part of it too! At least in my case." She shook her head. She knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. "You know, Chad, you really should learn a few things before you shoot off your big mouth."

"Kelsi," Ryan said softly, putting a hand on her arm. "Calm down."

"Maybe I don't feel like being calm, Ryan," she snapped at him. "I feel terrible. Everything hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up after taking that awful medicine. And then Chad goes and..."

"He didn't mean to upset you Kelsi," Taylor spoke up, also surprised by Kelsi's outburst.

"You did overreact a little," Jason added.

"Well forgive me for being irritable," Kelsi muttered sarcastically. She felt her eyes fill up with tears and wondered why in the world she was so emotional. "See how cheery all of you are when you feel so lousy." She let out a long sigh before looking at Chad. "I know you didn't mean anything and I know I overreacted. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." He shook his head.

"No, you were right. I shouldn't talk about things I don't know about. I'm sorry I upset you," he said in response. "I was just surprised...I didn't know that arthritis could affect people of any age."

"Neither did I," she admitted. "Not until I was diagnosed anyway."

"What kind is it?" Gabriella asked, speaking up for the first time. "Aren't there different kinds?"

"Yes," Kelsi confirmed. "It's rheumatoid."

"Which means....what?" Troy piped up. Kelsi glanced at Ryan, noting that his hand was still on her arm.

"Basically her immune system is attacking itself," Ryan answered for her. "That's why she's so tired all the time."

"So what are they doing about it?" Martha asked.

"Putting me on some medicines," Kelsi replied with a sigh. "I've started a couple of them already."

"Do they all make you sick?" Taylor wanted to know.

"Just the one so far." Kelsi made a face. She eyed the food on her tray warily. "I don't think I can eat," she muttered, pushing the tray away from her.

"You don't look so good, Kelsi," Gabriella said sympathetically.

"Yeah, I don't feel so good," Kelsi said with a nod. Suddenly the smell of the food seemed to be making her nausea worse.

"How do you feel?" Taylor asked.

"Like I might be sick," Kelsi answered honestly. She pushed away from the table. "In fact...I'll be right back." The others watched as she started to make her way towards the bathroom.

"Maybe someone should go with her...make sure she's okay," Troy suggested.

"I'll go," Gabriella offered.

"I'll go too," Taylor nodded.

"I guess I may as well go too," Martha said with a shrug. The guys watched the three of them follow in the direction Kelsi had gone.

"Kelsi's taking this hard isn't she?" Zeke commented, finally speaking up.

"Well duh," Chad rolled his eyes.

"How do we help her?" Troy directed this question to Ryan who merely shrugged.

"I've been trying to figure that one out myself," Ryan answered honestly.

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"Tell me Tess," Monica spoke up. Once again neither one of them was visible to anyone else around them. "Why did Kelsi react the way she did?"

"Well Monica, it's like I said before. Kelsi is on an emotional roller coaster, one that's only just getting started," Tess began. "She's in a state of denial, though it's hard for her to deny something like this. After all, she still has the pain to deal with – pain that seems to be getting worse all the time. And she still can't shake that awful tiredness. She may not be able to deny the symptoms, but she will deny the disease."

"Is she hoping that the doctors were wrong somehow?" Tess nodded.

"She's trying to convince herself that maybe there's another explanation for what's going on in her body. One that doesn't seem as scary. Because that, Angel Girl, is what all of this boils down to," Tess stated. "Fear. Fear of this disease; fear for her future; and fear for how this will affect the relationships with the people she cares the most about. Fear is a terrible thing, Monica. It has a way of ingraining itself into a person's very soul until they don't know how to live without it. She needs to start dealing with her fear before she's consumed by it."

"If she's so scared, why hasn't she talked to anyone about it?" Monica asked. Her heart hurt for the girl that she wanted desperately to help.

"Because she doesn't want to admit that she's afraid," Tess replied. "Not even to herself."


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Finally! I cannot even say how happy I am to finally update this story! And because it's been SO long (over a month) this chapter is pretty flippin' long. I mean it...you might want to use the bathroom before ya read. ;) A huge thank you to jenpen1027 who gave me the inspiration for this chapter. The idea for part of it was hers (when Kelsi goes into the music room) and I have to say as soon as she suggested it, I could completely picture it in my head and it struck a chord with me personally since I've been at the same place Kelsi finds herself in this chapter - though not to the same extreme. I only hope that I did the scene justice. This chapter is one big heap of angst, just to warn you. It gets pretty intense. The good news if you like this story is that I feel like I'm completely back on track with it which means faster updates. Yay! Of course now I'll have to see how well I can juggle three stories now that I'm out of my writer's block involving this one. One step at a time. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think!**

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**"It's going to cost _how_ much?" Kelsi shrieked. School had just ended for the day and Kelsi's mother had called Kelsi on her cell phone to tell her that their health insurance would be able to cover about half of the price of one of the biologics, Remicade, and Kelsi had made the fatal mistake of asking how much they would have to pay out of pocket.

"Twenty-five hundred dollars," Kelsi's mom, Karen, repeated with a long sigh. "Per dose."

"Is that before or after the insurance helps?" Kelsi asked, closing her eyes as she waited for the response.

"After," Karen answered.

"That's a lot of money, Mom. Especially since Dr. Moretti told us I would have to get the first three infusions two weeks apart from each other and then it'd be what? Somewhere between four weeks and eight, depending on how often I needed it? We can't afford that." Kelsi pinched the bridge of her nose with two of her aching fingers. "I don't have to go on it. I'll be fine."

"But honey the doctor said the RA is basically raging right now and has already done some damage. We have to slow it down and he feels that the combination of Remicade and methotrexate will do that, along with the other meds," Karen pointed out. "We'll figure out a way to make it work. Your father might be getting a promotion soon and that would be a big help."

"Might be," Kelsi argued. "He might not. Didn't he say there were other people who could get it instead of him? What if he doesn't get it? Are we supposed to go bankrupt over a treatment that might not even work?"

"We're talking about your health, Kelsi. If we don't start treating the RA aggressively now, it will just keep getting worse. It's not a matter of if; it's a matter of when and that is not a risk your father and I want to take. So if the doctor thinks this treatment will help, we have to try it," Karen said, softly. "I don't want you to worry about the money. We'll figure it out."

"But Mom..."

"No buts," Karen interjected, though her tone was gentle. Kelsi let out a long sigh of her own as she wrapped up the call with her mom and hung up, tears in her eyes.

"Hey Kelsi!" Kelsi closed her eyes again at the sound of Troy's voice.

"Hi Troy," she mumbled in response, not wanting to talk to him at the moment.

"Hey...are you okay? How do you feel?" he asked, worried when he noticed that she appeared to be fighting back tears.

"Fine I just...I want to go to the music room and play for a while. If you see Ryan, can you tell him that's where I am? He's supposed to drive me home," she managed. After her conversation with her mother, the weight of the situation was pressing down on Kelsi so hard she could barely breathe, and she desperately craved a release. A release that could only come from playing the piano.

"Well sure, but...are you sure you're okay?" Troy pressed. "You're worrying me, Playmaker."

"I said I was fine!" she snapped, regretting the harshness of her tone as soon as the words were out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, Troy, I just...I just need to be alone for a while. Can you please just tell Ryan where I'm going?"

"Sure," Troy nodded, his brow furrowed. "Of course."

"Thank you," she said, grabbing her backpack and rushing down the hallway. He frowned as he watched her disappear.

"Is everything all right, Mister Bolton?" He turned around to find Tess studying him.

"Yeah...well no...I don't know," he admitted. "I'm worried about Kelsi."

"She wasn't feeling well today was she?" Tess asked, a frown on her own face as she thought of the girl.

"No. She...she was just diagnosed with something," he hesitated. "I'm not sure I should say anything."

"She was just diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis," Tess supplied. At the look of surprise on his face, she smiled.

"How'd you know that?"

"Oh I have my ways," she said, mysteriously. "You didn't ask for my advice but I'm going to give it anyway. Kelsi is going through something very difficult right now and is probably going to be struggling for a while. Now you, being her friend, are probably wondering what you can do to help. Am I right?"

"Yes ma'am," he confirmed. "But I don't know how I can help. None of us do."

"You start by caring," she gave him another smile. "Which you already do. The next step, then, would be to understand that sometimes she's going to need her space and other times she's going to need a shoulder to lean on. But more importantly, the thing she needs the most is to know that her friends are there for her. That they will stand by her even in spite of her diagnosis. Are you prepared to do that?"

"I am," he answered, his tone confident.

"Good. It might not seem like much to you, but it'll help. In the meantime, I think the very best thing you can do is track down Mister Evans." Tess gave him a knowing look. "He might be just what the doctor ordered."

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As soon as she laid eyes on the piano, she couldn't help feeling that it had been waiting for Kelsi to come and play it like she so often did. She felt her breathing slow to a more normal pace as she went to sit on the bench. Everything else about her life felt like it was spinning wildly out of control, but here was comfort. Here was her safe haven from the storm she currently found herself in. Here she could play to her heart's content and know that in doing so she would be purging herself of some of the raging emotions swirling around her in body. There were a lot of songs that she could play, a lot of songs she knew by heart but that wasn't what she was in the mood for at the moment.

No, in times like this she found that it was better to simply put her hands on the keys and play whatever felt right. Sometimes the best way for a person to express themselves was to just sit back and let the music guide them. She supposed that was true of any art form, not just music. The best art, regardless of the medium used, came from the soul. It wasn't about trying to _force_ something to happen; it was about _letting_ something happen. At least that was the way she saw it. She lifted her hands to the keys, fully intent on letting her emotions guide the movement of her fingers when something made her hesitate.

Maybe it was the lightning in the room. Maybe it was her emotional state. She wasn't entirely sure what it was, but for whatever reason the deformities that were starting to develop in her hands suddenly seemed to be twice as prominent as they had the last time she looked. She shook her head. It was probably her imagination. She was sure her hands hadn't magically gotten worse in the past few hours or however long it had been since she had stopped to look. She went to start to play again, but found herself hesitating again as the memory of her last visit with her rheumatologist filtered through her mind.

She had rheumatoid arthritis – or so she had been told by two doctors. The disease had taken over and declared war on her defenseless body and was threatening to destroy her life as she saw it. If the medicines didn't work, the disease would continue to get worse which meant that the pain would get worse. The fatigue would get worse. The deformities she had would get worse and new ones would probably form. If that happened, she wasn't sure she'd be able to continue playing the piano. The pain she was currently feeling in her hands had been enough that it had hurt to write all day. She wondered if it would prevent her from being able to play.

"No," she whispered to herself. "You won't win." In the back of her mind she wondered if she had suddenly gone insane as she was addressing her disease as if it was a person, but she didn't care. "You can make me hurt and you can make me tired. But you cannot take this away from me. I won't let you." With that thought in her mind, she began to play with a determination she had never felt in her entire life. As always, the music seemed to flow out of her soul on its own free will. Everything she had been feeling came pouring out onto the keys and she played with a passion she could never remember feeling before. Her concerns about her future. Her worries over how in the world her parents would pay for her Remicade. Her fears about this horrible disease that had taken up residence in her body. It all came gushing out of her and into her music.

The more she played, the more intense the music seemed to get. She tried her hardest to get fully invested in the music, but she soon found that she couldn't do that. Because the sad truth of the matter was that there was no denying the pain. Her eyes filled up with tears as the simple act of playing the piano started to make her hands feel as if someone had taken a hammer to them. Not just her hands either. The pain spread to first her wrists, then her elbows, all the way up to her shoulders. Her tears started flowing harder and faster as a result and it was then that she noticed that she was starting to miss notes. She shook her head in denial and forced herself to keep playing, determined not to let her illness make her stop. She refused to let herself give in even though it seemed to be getting worse with every note.

"No," she whispered again. "No!" She continued trying to play, wondering why she seemed to be having a harder and harder time getting her fingers to do what she wanted them to. She had been playing the piano for years and had never had this problem, except when she was first starting out. Her tears fell harder as the music continued to fall apart – and the more it fell apart, the more did she. Her hands now felt as they were literally on fire, but she still tried to will herself to keep playing. It proved to be a losing battle, however, as she soon realized that as much as she wanted to force herself to continue she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough. The realization was like a well place dagger and she could swear that she could feel her heart being literally ripped to pieces inside of her. Her hands came to a stop on the keys and she found herself falling apart completely. She brought her hands to her face and slumped down over the piano as sorrow tore through her body. The tears she cried came from her soul and it felt like they might never stop.

"Oh Tess." Unbeknownst to Kelsi, she was not alone in the room like she naturally assumed she was. Tess and Monica stood next to the piano bench in angelic form and now Monica turned towards her supervisor, tears in her eyes as she watched Kelsi struggle. "I know I'm not supposed to reveal myself to her yet, but...but look at her. Oh Tess...she needs an angel now."

"And what are we?" Tess countered. "She has two angels right here."

"But she doesn't know that. She thinks she's all alone," Monica argued. "And she's hurting so...what would the harm be in letting her know we're here?"

"I know you mean well and I know you want to help her," Tess began. "But she's not ready."

"She's not?" Monica was incredulous. "She's crying her wee heart out!"

"That's right," Tess agreed. "But you have to trust me on this. Or actually, to be more specific, you have to trust God on this. Remember Him? He has a plan for this young lady, Monica, and it's our job to make sure it happens like it's supposed to. If something goes wrong this will go from bad to worse faster than you could ever imagine."

"But things are already bad. How much worse could they get for her?" Monica pressed. Tess looked across the room and nodded, a somber expression on her face. Monica followed her gaze and found Andrew standing there wearing a white suit.

"Oh no...Don't tell me..." Monica trailed off.

"Now don't go getting all upset on me now, Angel Girl," Tess cut in. "Things are a little more delicate than I originally thought, but at the moment we have no reason to panic."

"Then why is he here now?" Monica asked.

"I'm here to represent the gravity of the situation," Andrew spoke up, his voice soft as his gaze fell on Kelsi, tears in his eyes as well. "If things don't go like they're supposed to, well, this could be a matter of life or death." At Monica's look of horror, he held a hand up. "I didn't say we were at the point and I'm not saying we will be. I'm just saying that it's possible."

"That's right," Tess said calmly. "Sometimes it's best if we prepare ourselves for the worst even if we're not already at that point."

"But...but what do we do now? Just stand here? Tess, she needs someone to talk to." Monica pointed out.

"And she'll have one. If my guess is correct he should be here any second now," Tess assured her. Not two seconds after she made the prediction, the door to the music room opened and Ryan walked in looking concerned.

"Kelsi?" He hurried to her side, sitting next to her on the piano bench. "Kelsi what's wrong? What happened?"

"It hurts," she whispered the words, but they were drenched in pain. "God, it hurts." He wasted no time putting an arm around her and pulling her towards him. "I tried to play..." And with that no further explanation was needed. Ryan was pretty certain that he knew what had happened: she had gone to play and been unable to because of her pain. Kelsi, being the type of person she was, would find this to be completely devastating, as evidenced by how hard she was crying at the moment.

"Oh Kelsi," he kept his voice soft, determined to help her calm down. "I'm sorry."

"It's really happening isn't it? The diagnosis was right." She clung onto him and he held her a little tighter in response. "What did I do to deserve this, Ryan? I must have done something, right?"

"You didn't do anything," he said, his heart breaking in half for her. "You didn't do anything at all to deserve this, Kelsi."

"How do you know that?" she countered. "How do you know this isn't God's way of punishing me for something?"

"Because God, if there is a God, could never be as cruel as that," he started. "I don't know why this happened to you...I wish I did."

"Everything's going to change now isn't it?" She abruptly pulled away from him, tears still streaming down her face. "It's all just a matter of time."

"Change isn't always a bad thing," he offered, knowing the words were lame even as he spoke them and hating that he couldn't come up with anything better. "I mean..." he pushed on, searching his brain for a good example. His face lit up as inspiration hit. "Look at what happened when Gabriella transferred. She and Troy got involved in the auditions for the musicals, thanks to you, and yeah things were a little weird for a while, but they worked out didn't they? You guys thwarted Sharpay's whole plan, though I definitely played a role in it, and everything ended up fine. We're all friends now...even Sharpay's starting to get more involved with the group. Change ended up being a good thing then didn't it?"

As he had been speaking, Kelsi had found herself only partway paying attention as something he had said made her ever moving roller coaster of emotions shifting in a new and unpleasant direction. "Thanks to me?" she asked, quietly.

"Well sure. Sharpay and I changed that one song of yours around to make it suit our...well okay, Sharpay's, needs and then Troy and Gabriella sang it the way it was written, which Ms. Darbus heard. The rest is history." He smiled at her. "If there was one thing that first starting pulling the group together, it was your music."

"You know," she began, hearing the shakiness in her own voice. There was a small part of her that knew he was trying to make her feel better, but for the most part his words had made her feel about twice as bad. "No one ever paid any attention to me before that." She let out a short laugh that held no humor. "Well no, I'm wrong...you and your sister paid attention to me, but only because I could write music you could take and alter however you saw fit." He opened his mouth to say something but she continued as if she hadn't noticed. "But no one else did. No one else cared one bit about me, no one ever bothered to talk to me. I might as well have been invisible. The only thing that made people care about me was my music!"

"So people are stupid sometimes," he said in defense, not liking the direction their conversation was heading. "If no one noticed you beforehand, then that's their loss."

"What's the plan for the musical, Ryan?" she asked him, her eyes narrowing.

"The spring musical?" he blinked, surprised by the question.

"Of course the spring musical! What's the plan for it?"

"You know the plan...it's going to be a musical about all of us," he answered.

"Yeah? Then where's the music coming from?" she continued, though she of course already knew the answer.

"Well you're going to write it..." he said, trailing off at the look on her face.

"Exactly." She held up hands up to him. "I came in here because I wanted to vent. Some people vent through their words, I vent through this," she said, placing a hand on the piano keys. "This has been my release ever since I learned how to play. Anytime I was worried about something or scared about something or angry about something I knew I could come here and pour whatever it was I was feeling into my music. It always made me feel better." She let out a small sob. "That's why I came in here. I wanted to do something to make me feel better. But then I tried to play and it started to hurt so badly that I couldn't continue. I couldn't play!"

"You're having a bad day," he tried.

"Yeah and whose to say that every day won't end up like this? Who's to say that it won't get worse? If I can't play, I can't compose." She took a breath. "And if I can't compose, how long is it going to take for everyone to stop talking to me?"

"I...what?" He had known that their conversation was heading down a dangerous path, though he had never imagined this was where it would end up. "What are you talking about?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She swiped a hand at her cheeks to wipe off some of the tears as she got to her feet. "The only reason any of you care about me at all is because of my music."

"Now wait just a second," he protested, getting to his feet as well. "That's not true!"

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't anyone ever talk to me before?" she challenged him. "Didn't you basically just say that my music brought everyone together? Not me, but my music."

"Well yes, I said that and yes, it's true but..."

"But nothing! My arthritis is just going to keep getting worse and worse and sooner or later all of you will forget about me." Her tears, which had slowed some, were now flowing harder again.

"That's ridiculous! Maybe your music brought us all together in the first place, but that's not why we've all stayed friends!" he argued. "We care about you."

"Sure, you say that now because you feel sorry for me. See if that's still true when I can't help out with the musical!"

"First of all, there's a very good chance that you will be able to help with the musical especially if your medicines start working. And second of all, even if you couldn't that wouldn't change how any of us felt about you. Give us some credit! You'd still be our friend!" he shot back.

"You don't know that!"

"Like hell I don't," he growled. "Your music...as good as it is...is not enough to make people stay friends as long as we all have. No, the reason we have all stayed friends is because we care about each other. We all care about you because you're you, not because you happen to be able to write songs."

"Supposing that's true," she began, "things are still changing. The meds might work and they might not. What if they don't?" She sniffled and when she spoke again, there was an unmistakable sadness in her voice. "I've tried to pretend that it's not possible, that maybe the doctors are wrong but I can't do that anymore. This is really happening and it scares the hell out of me. The doctor told me that he would do everything he could and that remission is possible, but what if it's not? What if I never get there? Sometimes people die of this, Ryan. Sometimes the medicines can become toxic. I could end up in a wheelchair unable to take care of myself for all we know. Who's going to want to be around me if that happens?"

"I will," he said, gently cupping her face with his hands.

"You say that now..."

"And I'll mean it always," he interrupted.

"I wish I could believe you, but it's so hard for me to..." she trailed off again.

"Then I'll have to come up with ways to prove it," he decided. She brought a hand to her mouth as she closed her eyes, willing herself to step crying though she knew it was no use.

"I'm scared," she whispered, finally.

"I know," he said, letting out a sad sigh. "Come here." He gently pulled her into his arms again. "It's okay, Kelsi. It'll all be okay...you'll see." She tightened her grip on him as her tears seemed to fall even harder. She didn't think she had ever cried so much in her entire life. "Sssh...Everything is going to be all right."

"Don't let go...not yet." Her words were barely audible but they managed to break off more pieces of his heart all the same.

"I won't," he promised. "Let it out, honey."

The tears continued to flow freely and the more they fell, the more things changed for both Ryan and Kelsi in regards to their emotions. For Kelsi, the concept of hope seemed to be akin to fire. The more hope you had, the stronger the blaze would burn and spread to everything and everyone around it. On the contrary, the less hope you had, the smaller the blaze would get. So with every tear that fell, Kelsi could feel her fire of hope getting smaller and smaller and was now dangerously close to being extinguished completely. If someone were to ask Ryan what would symbolize the way he was feeling at this moment, he would more than likely also say fire. Only in his case it wasn't the fires of hope that he would be referring too - it was the fires of rage.

With every tear that Kelsi cried, Ryan found himself growing more and more angry. Not at her – never at her – but at her disease and, perhaps more importantly, at God. Because if God was real than it stood to reason that he was all-knowing and all-powerful. It stood to reason, then, that He had allowed this horrible disease to attack Kelsi's body. Now she was practically clinging onto him and crying her eyes out and it was all he could do not to scream out in rage at the unfairness in it. Ryan concluded that one of two things was true: either God was nothing more than an illusion, something people liked to pretend existed it order to make themselves feel better about their lives. Or God was real and if He was, than He apparently liked to mess with people's lives – people who did nothing to deserve it. As far as Ryan was concerned, if the latter was true and God did exist than Ryan hated Him. Because if there was anyone who did not deserve to go through something so terrible, it was Kelsi.

"Brace yourself, angel babies," Tess spoke up, addressing both Monica and Andrew. "It's going to be a bumpy ride."


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm SO happy to be updating this! I'll warn you that this chapter is pretty short (for me). I had more scenes planned for it but have been struggling getting those scenes out of my head and onto the screen. It's been extremely frustrating for me. I had a goal to get this (and my other stories) updated before I left for a mini road trip tomorrow (we were going to leave Friday but we made a last minute change of plans) so I decided just to post what I have so I can at least make _one_ of my goals. New character introduced in this chapter! Some of you _might_ recognize him, others won't. Much more about him will be revealed in the next chapter, including why he's been added to the story. I have more comments about him, but will wait until the next chapter to post them. I'm sorry for the shortness of this one - next one will be longer, I promise. As always thanks for the support guys! Especially for this story since it isn't as popular as my other two (not that I'm complaining, mind, I'm thrilled that _anyone_ reads _anything_ I write). I hope you guys like this one. Let me know what you think! **

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Ryan plopped down into his chair in homeroom the following morning with a small sigh. Ever since her breakdown the day before Kelsi had been despondent. She had barely said two words on the way home from school yesterday and that morning she seemed worse. She usually greeted him with a bright smile when he picked her up, but that day she had given him a small smile that didn't even come close to reaching her eyes. She barely spoke at all but when she did her voice was sad and softer than usual. At the moment she had her backpack on her desk and was using it as a pillow of sorts while they waited for homeroom to begin.

Ryan glanced over at her and smiled when he saw that she was facing his direction, but the smile faded as she turned her head so that she was now facing Martha. The rejection was small but Ryan couldn't ignore the fact that it still stung. At the front of the room, Tess was looking through some papers while she prepared to begin homeroom. Ryan watched her look over at the door with an almost expectant look on her face and absently wondered what she was waiting for.

He was just about to look over at Kelsi again, when a boy he had never seen before entered the classroom. Homeroom was scheduled to begin in less than a minute so the boy had arrived just in time. Ryan watched as Tess spoke to the new arrival briefly before grabbing hold of his arm and leading him to the front of the class. The room had been full of the sound of teenagers talking, but the noise level slowly dropped down as more and more students took notice of the stranger standing beside Tess.

"Good morning everyone," Tess began, her voice sounding cheerful and even a little excited. "We have a lot of things on our agenda this morning, but first I would like to introduce you all to a brand new student here at East High who will be a member of our homeroom. I trust that you will all do your best to make him feel welcome." Tess swept her gaze around the room making eye contact with several students as she spoke, lingering on Sharpay for some reason. "His name is Rafael and I think he will be a valuable addition to both our school and our homeroom." She turned her attention back to the boy beside her. "Rafael, would you like to tell us a few things about yourself before we begin?"

"Sure," the boy said in response. "Like Tess said, my name is Rafael. I know this is where I'm supposed to tell you where I'm from, but the truth is that I'm not really from any place in particular. I've moved around a lot in my life." The boy went on to share a little more about himself, but Ryan found himself tuning him out. Instead he focused on the way that Kelsi seemed to perk up when Rafael mentioned his love for music and the fact that he played guitar. Ryan frowned as he focused his attention not on what Rafael was saying, but on Rafael himself. He was Hispanic with black hair and deep brown eyes and seemed to be about Ryan's own height, if not a little taller. He was dressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt and seemed to exude a quiet confidence.

Ryan barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes when he heard a girl behind him whisper to someone, a friend probably, that the new boy was "dreamy". Ryan forced himself not to laugh either as he hadn't heard anyone use the word "dreamy" in forever. His muffled laughter quickly turned into something else when he heard the friend's reply: "Dreamy? Girl, that boy is downright hot!" He wasn't sure why the response bothered him so much or why he was suddenly feeling so bitter. He looked around the room and noted that several of the girls were watching Rafael with interested smiles on their faces and Ryan couldn't help thinking that all of the single girls at East High would probably fall in love with the mysterious new student. He did a small double take as he noticed that Kelsi seemed to be focused intently on what Rafael was saying. A scowl formed rapidly across Ryan's features as he acknowledged that he didn't like that...he didn't like that one bit.

He shifted his attention back to Rafael and felt his scowl deepen as he watched the other boy's gaze fall and linger on Kelsi for what seemed like several seconds too long. The boy seemed pleasant enough; Ryan imagined that he would have no trouble making friends, though at the moment he couldn't help feeling more annoyed with Rafael with every second that passed. What was perhaps the most annoying thing to Ryan at the moment was that he couldn't figure out what exactly it was about Rafael that irritated him. The boy seemed to have a genuine kindness about him and there didn't seem to be any logical reason for Ryan to have a problem with him. Ryan shook his head, now annoyed with himself. After all, he didn't know Rafael well enough to have an attitude about him – in fact he didn't know Rafael at all. He imagined that he was probably just still hurt by Kelsi's rejection and that was the real reason behind his negative thoughts towards Rafael, rather than the boy himself.

Of course that idea flew out the window as Rafael finished speaking and Tess pointed out the only empty chair left in homeroom, which happened to be directly behind Kelsi. Ryan watched Rafael make his way to his seat and smile at Kelsi as he passed her. Ryan did another small double take as he watched Kelsi give Rafael a tentative smile in return. He felt the scowl return to his face while his annoyance came back tenfold. He let out an irritated huff as he turned his attention back to Tess and tried to concentrate on whatever it was that she was talking about with no success.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Ryan, Gabriella had happened to notice the smiles exchanged between Kelsi and Rafael and Ryan's reaction to them. Ryan had looked so uncharacteristically annoyed and bitter that Gabriella had felt a grin spread across her face in response. She had gotten a pretty good look into the mind of Ryan Evans the previous summer and unless she missed her guess, she imagined that he was trying to figure out what it was about Rafael that annoyed him so much. Or actually, she mentally corrected herself, what it was about Kelsi's reaction to Rafael that annoyed him so much. Gabriella let out a quiet burst of laughter, knowing that any one of their friends could tell him exactly what the reason was: Ryan was hopelessly in love with their composing friend and didn't even know it. She shook her head to herself and wondered when he'd ever get a clue.

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Homeroom came to an end and all of the students began filing out and heading to their respective classes. Kelsi went to stand up and promptly collided with an exiting Rafael.

"Oh!" Kelsi exclaimed, surprised at the sudden contact. "I'm sorry!" she added, shyly. She risked a glance over at the new boy and was relieved when he gave her a friendly smile.

"Don't worry about it," he told her, his voice kind. "No harm done." There was an awkward pause as Zeke made his way over to them and grabbed hold of Kelsi's backpack.

"Hey man, welcome to East High," Zeke spoke up, extending his hand out to Rafael who reached out to shake it. "I'm Zeke."

"Thanks for the welcome," Rafael replied. "I'm Rafael, though I guess you already know that from the introduction."

"Yeah. I am so happy I've never had to give one of those," Zeke said, with a laugh. "I've never had to be the new kid anywhere. Must be hard to adjust."

"It can be," Rafael nodded. "It all depends on the people. This place seems all right so far, though."

"It is," Zeke agreed. "Anyway, it was good to meet you."

"Likewise," Rafael said, turning his attention to Kelsi. "I don't believe I caught your name?"

"Oh right," she said softly, feeling stupid. "I'm Kelsi."

"Well it's very nice meeting you, Kelsi," he said warmly, looking back up at Zeke. "Both of you."

"Well it's very nice meeting you, Kelsi," Ryan muttered sarcastically under his breath. He had witnessed the entire exchange and had felt the strange bitterness he was feeling rise as a result. He closed his eyes and forced himself to do some yoga breathing to calm down, wondering again why he was so irritated.

"Talking to yourself Ry?" He heard Sharpay ask from her seat in front of his. "I'd stop that if I were you. Don't want people to think you're crazy do you?"

"Sharpay, I'm not in the mood," he snapped. He opened his eyes in time to see surprise mixed with a hint of hurt in her eyes and instantly regretted his tone. He let out another sigh. "Sorry Shar...I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I would certainly hope not," she said, offering Zeke a rare bright smile as he started to head towards the door with Kelsi following behind him. The taller boy nearly tripped as a result, causing Kelsi to plow into him and Rafael to crash into her. Sharpay bit back a small giggle at Zeke's reaction before glancing back at her brother, lifting a perfect eyebrow when she saw his expression. His jaw was tense and his eyes were narrowed ever so slightly towards the new boy. Taken aback, Sharpay looked back over towards Zeke and the other two in time to see Rafael make some kind of joke to Kelsi about needing collision insurance and the smaller girl let out a brief soft laugh in return. Sharpay looked back at Ryan and could swear that she could hear his teeth grinding. "I see," she said, mostly to herself, biting back another small giggle. "It's okay, Ry, don't worry about it."

Ryan got up from his seat and yanked his bag from off the floor in a jerky motion, nearly taking the head off of the poor person who had been sitting behind him. "Sorry," he murmured. He shot another glance over at Rafael, Kelsi and Zeke and was surprised to find Kelsi looking back at him.

"Um..." she started, looking a little confused about his behavior. "I forgot to say it earlier but thanks for driving me to school...again. I'm sorry I was so quiet," she finished, her voice soft. Ryan instantly felt part of his bitterness melt away at her words and managed to smile at her.

"It's okay. I know you're dealing with a lot right now," he said, giving her a meaningful look. "Just...try not to shut me out okay?"

"Okay," she agreed. She flashed him a smile, this one much more genuine than the one she had given him earlier. It still didn't come close to her eyes but it was a vast improvement and for that he could only be grateful. Of course, he felt himself go back on edge as he heard Tess call for Rafael from her spot in the front of the classroom. That in and of itself hadn't bothered him, no it had to do with the fact that Rafael had felt the need to bid Kelsi a quiet goodbye before walking over to Tess. "It was nice meeting you, Rafael," Kelsi replied, her voice shy, as she gave the new boy _another_ smile before following a now recovered Zeke out of the classroom.

"It was nice meeting you, Rafael," Ryan mimicked, again under his breath. "Humph." He heard a soft chuckle from behind him and turned to face Gabriella, who was giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Hang in there, Ryan," she advised, patting his shoulder as she spoke. "Rafael's not a threat."

"Who?" he asked innocently. "Oh, you mean the new guy? He doesn't bug me."

"Right." Gabriella drew the word out as she rolled her eyes, clearly not fooled. "Just like I didn't bug Sharpay when I first came here," she teased him.

"Oh yeah, you didn't bug me at all," Sharpay giggled, surprising them both. Ryan watched Sharpay and Gabriella exchange a knowing look and felt his brow lift in suspicion, having a strong feeling that the look was related to him somehow. He looked back and forth between the two girls for a second before shaking his head.

"I have to get to class," he decided, rushing out of the classroom before either one of them could respond.

"Your brother has got it bad," Gabriella grinned.

"I know, right?" Sharpay replied, returning her smile. She started to follow Gabriella out of the classroom but was surprised to hear Tess call her name. "Yes?" she asked, pasting on her best fake smile.

"As you are aware, Rafael is a brand new student here and as such needs someone to help him get around," Tess stated.

"And this concerns me why?" Sharpay asked, feeling a little impatient with the discussion already.

"It concerns you because I was thinking that you could do it," Tess answered.

"Me?" Sharpay gaped at her. "Why me? Why not someone like Gabriella or Martha? Someone who actually cares?" She spared a glance at Rafael. "No offense."

"None taken," he said dryly.

"They would be the usual choices wouldn't they?" Tess asked, with a nod. "Unfortunately for you, I am not overly concerned with the usual. The fact that you don't want to do this may very well be the reason why you need to."

"Okay, what is that supposed to mean?" Sharpay demanded. Tess raised an eyebrow as Sharpay's tone was just short of rude.

"It means that it might be good for you to do something nice for someone else. You might even enjoy it," Tess answered.

"Do I have a choice?" Sharpay wanted to know.

"You always have a choice," Tess replied, her voice sounding oddly cryptic. "But I want you to take something into consideration before you make your choice. What you have right now is an opportunity. An opportunity both to help someone else and earn yourself some points with me. Seeing as how we'll be working together on the musical, I can assure you that that would be a good thing. A very good thing." Sharpay studied her for a long moment before finally letting out a sigh.

"Okay fine," she said sharply, snapping her attention back to Rafael. "Where's your first class?"

"I have English with Mr. Thompson," Rafael answered, after quickly glancing at a sheet of paper pulled out of his pocket.

"It's down there," Sharpay informed him. She was standing with her back to the door and pointed to her left. "Go down to the end and turn right. Look for the small girl you bumped into and the tall guy who started the collision. They're in that class too." She glanced back and forth between Rafael and Tess. "Happy?" she asked Tess, who scowled in response.

"Surely you can do better than that," Tess sighed. "I suppose that will have to do for now since you have a class to get to, but I expect you to meet him at his classroom and take him to his second class and all of the classes afterwards. And I should warn you, Ms. Evans, that I have my ways of finding out whether or not you actually help," she advised her. "Now head on off to class. I don't want you to be late." Sharpay took one step away from Tess before stopping and letting out a long sigh at the stern look on Tess's face.

"Oh fine!" Sharpay exclaimed, surprising Rafael by grabbing his hand. "Come on." She headed out of the room practically dragging Rafael behind her causing the boy to look back at Tess with a slightly panicked look on his face.

Tess let out a long sigh of her own as she looked upwards. "Oh Lord, give me patience to deal with that girl! I have a feeling that I'm going to need it."


End file.
